belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
