so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
