Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
i need some magic done to my vagina
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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