Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
