my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
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