the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
