i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
i just google imaged poop.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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