Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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