I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
