We're like a lot better than the average bears
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
