He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
