he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
