Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
wow bdsm is so cute
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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