And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
