you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
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