it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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