yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
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