I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
My vagina just recognized that song.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Randomize
