just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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