I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize
