Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
