I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
