She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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