Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
