I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
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