She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Randomize
