Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
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