im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
jump out the window naked night went bad
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
