I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
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