Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize