Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
