It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Randomize
