do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I just found a bag of teeth...
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
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