Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Randomize
