In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
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