Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Randomize
