I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
