you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
