She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Randomize
