He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Randomize
