she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize