omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize