I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Randomize
