how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
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