Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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