I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Randomize
