I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
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