i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
