Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
