Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
