bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Randomize
