So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
