i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
