rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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