you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
He has the fingertips of a God
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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