i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
