I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize