I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize