just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
