he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
