At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
where are you?
Hypothermia
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
