He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
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